I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
