It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
