She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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