He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
