i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
