end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
they need to just BURY HIM!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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