everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
