Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
