What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
