I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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