Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
