if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
