I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
