Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He did a backflip because drugs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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