Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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