Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
