Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
