dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
