I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
