I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
