Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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