I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't think brook has ever known best
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
