i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
