all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
