You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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