Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
