1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
