Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Did you just see the Batmobile???
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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