Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
