so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
