I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
