DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
