Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
