We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Green mimosas i think yes
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I still have a little drunk in my system
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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