He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
