doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
