Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
