Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
