This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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