I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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