party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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