Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
