evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
