so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
