I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
