Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
