What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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