We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
