My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
