I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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