david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
