Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
